About

What am l like to work with? 
 

Open minded. Direct. Curious. Thoughtful. 
 

Therapy with me is direct and targeted. We work from where you are. I am a mirror, reflecting back what you know, but in a new way. I ask you to get clear about what is getting in the way of your getting what you want. Then, we get creative about how to get it -- we might do more of what’s Not Working on purpose to figure out what does!  -- or we are honest about where you are, the decisions you have made, and what you can realistically expect. Then we work to make the ride more joyful.

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Once we agree on what you want to work on, I will focus on that issue until you or we decide to change it, instead of responding only to whatever is coming up for you in a given week. 

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While I work weekly, I work on an as-needed basis. For example, if we spend 5 months together working weekly on a specific issue, you could then take a break from therapy to implement what we covered. After that you are welcome to return if you’d like more, or to work on something else. 

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I don’t get all “love and light” about everything as a way to fix a problem. There are good reasons why situations are challenging, and trying to avoid them by only focusing on the good is usually not sustainable over time. 

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What’s an actual session like? 

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Straightforward, without industry jargon. And hopefully at least one good laugh per session! You can expect that it may take 3-4 sessions before we can both become clear on the results you are seeking, and how we will effectively progress towards those. You can expect to always be consulted about how much work you want to do, and how long you are willing to continue to do it. The work will go most quickly if you expect to work on what we talk about between sessions. To this end, you will leave session with clear ideas about what to focus on before we see each other next. 

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How do I work with men?

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In our culture the reality is that men’s opinions  and ways of showing up can be unappreciated and even openly put down. Both women and men take part in this. When people feel truly seen and appreciated, they can make fundamental shifts in the ways they relate to other people. If feeling unappreciated or unseen, people will put their energy into either fighting or submitting, in order to get others to accept them. The type of fighting or submission might change but the motivation will not. No real conversation or connection can occur without a basic appreciation of our own inherent worthiness. 

For men, learning what they need and how to ask for it lets them take a breath in that moment when they might otherwise fight or submit. It saves them time spinning and doing things that don’t work so that they can focus on what does -- and put their energy where it can really make a difference. It then changes how they show up, which in turn creates a virtuous cycle, changing how they can show up in the places that matter to them. 

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How am I different from other therapists?

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I relentlessly return to what you want. This is my mission in our work together. 

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How does therapy actually work? What is the process for getting started?

1. You decide there is something in your life that is really bothering you and is not resolving itself either on its own or through your usual methods

2. We meet for our initial session and decide if we would like to commit to working together

3. We schedule weekly therapy sessions where we clarify what you want to work on. I regularly check back in with you to ensure we are progressing towards the goals and results you seek.

 

What results can I expect? 

 

My clients have reported experiencing greater freedom, more choices, more permission to move towards their interests. For example:

 

A client was struggling with whether or not to stay together with his partner. We clarified what he was getting and not getting out of the relationship, helping him see his choice in the context of his desires. He reported committing to the relationship on a different, deeper level after working with me, with his eyes open to the challenges ahead. 

 

Another client suffered a betrayal by his partner and had to figure out how to survive the emotional roller coaster of life that followed. He said that I got him through the crisis of the initial dark days and helped him find his real voice in the situation, beyond his anger. 

 

Another client was looking to feel less responsible for her family members, who would often lean on her for tasks they could take care of themselves. We identified what was driving the feelings of responsibility and made a game plan for how to respond to future requests. She said that this made her closer than ever to her family members.

 

Clients almost always say they feel lighter after having shared some of their burdens with me. My wish for you would be a steadier and clearer picture of yourself and your contributions…. leading to improved quality of life and relationships. 

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